Looking forward to a new year

I have a feeling that 2007 will be a great year. My kids are getting a little older. They sleep well (when they aren't sick). I only have one in diapers. She'll most likely potty train this year. They all eat 'big people' food. Family dinners are actually enjoyable and we can all sit together. They still argue. They still have their moments... don't get me wrong! They are far from perfect kids but I can honestly say that I am enjoying them so much.

I love to watch Morgan 'teach' her sisters how to do gymnastics. Even Melody tries to do a forward roll... she just bends over, puts her hands on the ground and sticks her cute little bootie in the air. Maya flails her arms around and proceeds to roll forward with pomp and circumstance, culminating in the ever present "ta-da"!

I'm feeling the fittest I have ever felt. I'm at my lowest weight I have been in my adult life (ok, so there are a few holiday pounds but I can take them off no problem). Working out is routine for me. I'm up every morning. 5am. No question. Mom will be home by 7. I make better food choices even when i'm not on program. I get to have my surgery in less that two weeks. Physically I have never felt better.

Nathan's going through another buyout with his company but this time we already know that his job is going to be there. He's received an offer letter already. What a blessing!! He's such a good worker and I am so proud of him. I watched him as he left the house to take Melody to a doctor's appointment the other day. (I had another appointment and he jumped right in to take her.) I thought to myself how wonderful he is and how I am fortunate to have married such a great man who loves his family so much.

2007 is going to be a great year. I just have this feeling.

Blessings, a lesson from Peter

I have so many blessings. Truly. Next time I complain about something trivial like a stomach bug or the stress of having three kids just remind me about Peter. Peter is a little boy who is Morgan's age. We used to car pool to preschool. He went to Morgan's school. He was the sweetest little red headed boy and that's saying a lot because I have a HUGE preference for girls. I don't know why. I just do. That's that. Peter won me over. He is funny, quirky, polite and well mannered. His mother reminds me a little of Bree on Desperate Housewives, down to the red hair and home-made gift baskets.

Peter's battling a brain tumor. They can't even biopsy it because of the location of it on his brain stem. He has to endure chemotherapy for the next six weeks before they can even determine what they can do with it. I can't get this little angel of a boy out of my head. What would I do if this were my child? How is his mother surviving? I'm not that strong. I feel helpless. All I can do is fall to my knees and pray constantly that he will pull through this and continue with the strength that I know he has. He's a special kid... surely his mission on this earth isn't over yet. If you're reading this, please remember little 7 year old Peter in your prayers.

I was never good at journaling either

All of my journal entries on paper begin with "it's been a long time" or "so many things have happened since..". I really need to motivate myself to record things better. Thanks Gretchen for the nudge in the right direction.

Actually now seems a really good time for a blog entry. I've been going through somewhat of a rough patch where parenting is concerned. It started with Nathan's travel picking up and then with a long bout of sicknesses in our house and I am just stuck in a funk. I'm not being a good mother. I have a short fuse and low level of tolerance. My friends notice it. I feel like I would love to have someone to talk to about it but not sure who that would be. I talk to Nathan and, bless his heart, his feedback is 'I'm sorry'. I don't think my kids deserve the kind of mother they have right now. If I didn't have such strong feelings about being home with them, I'd look for a part time job just to get out of here for a while.

Taking the girls out is a challenge lately. Melody is wanting to use her new found walking skills and Maya is just in the whiney 2-3 year old stage. Morgan tries to 'help' and Maya gets ticked off even more. And what is it with the crabby elderly ladies lately?? I am getting parenting advice and dirty looks EVERYWHERE! Don't they remember that they were there once?? Infuriating! I have held my toungue for the last time. I swear the next person is going to get an earful.

My exercising is keeping me somewhat sane. I am at the gym every morning, 6 days a week for an hour on the elliptical and a shower by myself. It's not even really for the exercise anymore but for the alone time. That's how I get myself out of bed at 5am. My diet is OK but I'm hanging out around 144lbs so i've gained about 5 back. I would like to lose it before my surgery in January but still can't stop shoving holiday food in my face.

The kids are doing well. Morgan's still super-enthusiastic about gymnastics and the other two are keeping me busy at home. I hope that I can get out of this funk and enjoy them more while they are still little.

Melody Melody Melody....

It's so unfair that I haven't blogged about my little blessing yet. What a miracle. Boy does God know what he is doing. I have had my faith strengthened a million times over. I always believed that you were never given more than you can handle. I have a serious testimony of that now. Having our third baby has been HARD. It's been the hardest work I have ever done. But do you know what? The Lord provided me with help. He gave me amazing friends who are there for me. He gave me an amazing husband and beautiful, healthy children.

Melody is amazing. She is the happiest, most contented baby. She is the completion of our family. I am so glad that the decision to have her was not mine. There are greater plans. I wouldn't trade her for anything.