Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Once a worrier.. always a worrier..

All of my life i've worried about things. I've worried that I have offended someone.. I've worried about little things like exams or presentations in school. I've worried about the weather, the health or well being of family members. But WOW.. being a mother.. is the biggest worry of them all. The Lord has blessed me with 2 very amazing children and has seen fit to give me another. Some days I feel like I am failing him. My Morgan is incredible. I know I say it a lot, but I get so many compliments about her. "She's so intelligent!" "She's so compassionate!" "We love to have Morgan over!" "Do you rehearse music with her? She's always on pitch!" "Wow - look at her play soccer! What a go-getter!" I BEAM with pride every time I hear those things. She's invited to a million birthday parties.. She's popular with her group of friends. She is well liked. Why is it that she is so hard on herself? What could I have done to make her feel like she isn't good enough? She is so much more than good enough! I worry that I am going to do the same thing with my next two kids.

Maya is so precious. She hates it when Daddy leaves for work in the morning. She cries at the door for a little bit. She clings to him in the morning. She gets so excited when he walks in the door after work. She is amazed at any form of animal, but seems to REALLY love dogs. She makes a "woof" sound through her pacifier when she sees one. She dances to ANY music... shakes her little tushie. Her smile will melt your heart and when she cuddles me I just want it to last forever. I really don't want to mess her up. I pray every night that I can do better. Tonight I feel like I really should be doing better, ya know?